There is nothing worse than trying to get a person who lacks zero self-awareness to see how their actions impact not only them but the people around them.
It’s especially troubling when that same person takes the observations others make about their behavior as a personal attack.
The hardest part about getting people to escape victim mentality, is to get them to realize and admit that they’ve been playing the victim.
I know this from experience because there was a time when I was the same way. I internally used the excuse that because of what happened to me, what people had done to me etc that I had the right to not care about how my behavior was impacting others. That allowed me to justify being dismissive of people’s feelings about my behavior and to use perpetual victimhood as a reason not to face my actions, make the necessary changes and be my best self.
This behavior was self-limiting, self-destructive and unbearably annoying and hurtful to the people closest to me. The day I woke up and refused to associate any longer with victim mentality, I felt like I had become a new person.
I am very empathetic to others feelings. I am a sensitive person who realizes some people have faced extreme trauma in their lives. I have as well. Despite that, I cannot and will not excuse people allowing the fact that they’ve faced trauma to be an excuse for terribly inconsiderate or destructive behavior.
If you’ve been traumatized that implies you have suffered. So why the fuck would you want to make your loved ones or friends suffer as well? You make them suffer when in the name of you being a victim you refuse to examine your own behavior and become aware of how what you do impacts others. You make them suffer when you make people who love you your enemies simply because they express to you that you’re behaving in a way they don’t like.
I have been molested, raped, beaten, stolen from, cast aside, lied on, lied to, talked bad about, ostracized, dismissed, and plotted on and yet… I. AM. NOT. A. VICTIM. I refuse to wear that title because wearing it means asking to be perpetually excused for shitty thinking, shitty behavior and making shitty decisions because something bad happened to me. Nah, foh. If I won’t accept victim behavior from myself after all I’ve been through, I won’t accept it from anyone.
No matter what has happened to you, YOU are responsible for your life. YOU are responsible for the energy that you bring and put out into the world. YOU and only you have the power to take back the reigns from the part of yourself who has resigned to making excuses for not being your best self. It is your job and your job alone.
So don’t you fucking dare blame an ex for not being able to love or an abuser for not being able to take criticism or anyone on planet earth or beyond for your failure to pick yourself up out of what happened to you. You are not what happened to you.
Own your shit.
Face your shit.
Make no excuses.
Rise to your greatest and best self, free from the shackles of victimhood.
You’ll thank yourself later. I know I have.