Random, Randomer & Randomerest, Take 1

Thoughts I’ve had and captured like Gargamel wishes he could Smurfs…

Doh! Oops, wrong animated character exclamation association.

Doh! Oops, wrong animated character exclamation association.

Being tall is so weird. Especially as a woman. People find the need to mark your arrival with awkward stares and even more awkward commentary.

Random stranger: Hey, you’re tall.

Me: *blank stare*

Random stranger: I always wanted to be tall.

Me: *blank stare*

Random stranger: I’m only 5 ft 3.

Me: *blank stare*

Random stranger: How tall are you?

Me: 6 foot 1.

Random stranger:Wow!

Me: *blank stare

That's right, bitch. You're tall and you're gonna talk about it.

That’s right, bitch. You’re tall and you’re gonna talk about it.

Stating the obvious about my being tall, discussing me like I’m a purple alien attempting to walk peacefully among earth folk or otherwise telling me I stand out like I hadn’t ever noticed myself are all violations of the egregious sort, particularly when I haven’t even had my coffee yet because I’m still in line at 7-Eleven and haven’t paid for it.

I’ve been essentially the same height since I was 12 years old! I’m 30- eh erm- something now so that’s roughly 18 years of my having to hear dumb shit spat out by vertically challenged seemingly extroverted people. Look, short nosey people, I rarely, especially in the mornings on my way to work, feel like discussing a trait I have but can take no credit for bestowing upon myself. Yes, my parents are tall. No, I don’t play basketball. Yes, I see how much taller I am than you. No, I don’t want to stand closer to you and compare our height difference in greater detail. Please sit down and stfu. Seriously.

Why do people not say thank you when you hold doors for them? People who cannot part their lips to acknowledge a courtesy make me irrationally angry. Like seriously, WASPy chic at 7:52 am at a Starbucks that ran out of whipped cream angry. I am unable to can with the rudeness that is people too busy to acknowledge that I didn’t let a door slam either on them or in their faces. Ungrateful fucks.

Every time I fail to receive a thank you for holding a door I immediately wish for the superpower of being able to manipulate time simply so I can reverse it just enough to not hold the door for the person and then somehow slam it right in their face instead. I know this sounds way harsh. I am fully aware of this and yet it changes nothing. I just think not acknowledging a courtesy is very rude and I absolutely abhor rudeness.

Get ya rude ass outta hear with that bullshit!

Get ya rude ass outta here with that bullshit!

Things that get an immediate NO and SIDE EYE from me:

  1. MAYO, yes mayonnaise, especially if it’s on anything hot. Nope, nope and more nope. Whole lot of nope and still more nope with mayo. It’s just so….. ewwwwwwwww.
See? GROSS!!!

See? GROSS!!!

2. People who stare. I think it’s rude and yes I will call you on it if I catch you doing it even if I don’t know you. A lot of folks act as if they can’t grasp that it’s very uncomfortable to sit under the concentrated gaze of someone, especially a stranger. Most people don’t like feeling like they’re on display, even if something about them causes them to stand out like height, disability or choice of outfit. However, I’m not saying it’s impolite to notice people but it is very impolite weird unsettling to become so transfixed on someone that it looks like you are unaware of anything else but them. People’s mothers seriously don’t teach them that staring is rude? Was my mom the only one who did? Double you tee fuck?!? I don’t know how this isn’t an automatic part of home training instruction. It simply doesn’t make sense to me.

Staring = creepy.

Staring = creepy, especially when this dog does it.

Things you should accept and remember that will make your life easier on a daily basis:

  1. You are the creator of your reality and everything you believe, think and do is based upon your perception of this reality.
  2. No one really has control over your emotions but you.
  3. If you focus on the lack of something all you will get is more lack of it. Energy flows where attention goes.
  4. Being grateful for what you have means you are focusing on abundance and focusing on abundance brings more abundance. Energy flows where attention goes.
  5. Your intuition should never be ignored. Never focus on why you had an intuitive thought, instead focus on what that thought immediately moves you to do or say.
  6. Overthinking kills shit. It’s fine to give things thought but remember your mind isn’t the only tool you should be using to execute discernment. Refer to number 5.
  7. Every individual you encounter is the creator of their own reality and as such everything they believe, think and do is based upon their perception of that reality.
  8. The only way to truly live is right here, right now, in the moment. The past is gone and future hasn’t happened so all you have is this moment.
  9. Love is not about ownership; it is about appreciation.
  10. You have the power in every moment to focus on the positive, not the negative. Energy flows where attention goes.


Songs you should hear if you haven’t already and if you have you should listen to again, right now:

I play this song first thing in the morning after I meditate a bit. It always makes me feel renewed, refreshed and grateful. It was written as a dedication to the Yoruba goddess of sweet, fresh waters who is widely loved and known for healing the sick and bringing fertility and prosperity.

I have this song on a playlist i made called “Thinking”. It always makes me feel strangely calm, like I’m being gently stalked and I play it a lot while I write.

I love this song. No, scratch that I love the whole album this song is on. Because,The Internet by Childish Gambino is something you should give an ear to.

Dope song. Period.

FKA Twigs and this song are absolute perfection. So. fucking. sexy.

Can it get even randomer? I’m sure it can. But you can be the judge of that next time. Have a peaceful, positive, productive day/evening/whatever. Namaste.