Ever just feel crazy? Mad, even?
If I were to count the times I’ve felt out-of-my-head, bat-shit, cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs crazy there simply wouldn’t be enough time to do anything else, let alone write this blog post. My mind often feels like a vast storage facility of introspection, sarcasm, and already realized epiphanies coupled with well-suppressed memories of heartache, disappointment and failures of days long gone by. Over the past few years as I’ve become more spiritually enlightened and “awake” one of the first things I realized was that I was completely incorrect for assuming that in awakening I would somehow become more sane- that is to say not to have so many moments that had me feeling like I should have been Jack Nicholson’s roommate in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.
Though freeing and very refreshing, my spiritual awakening brought with it an unfortunate side-effect- realization that every one else is still “asleep” and my new outlook on things would only make me look crazy to them! This is part of the reason I decided I should write about some of my “mad musings” and the impact they have had on my search for inner peace and how they have impacted my relation to and thoughts about others. This will at the very least for me chronicle some very random yet poignant thoughts ,hopefully evoking both laughter and reflection. At the very most it will strike a chord with someone else out there who has found the road to enlightenment as rocky and beautiful as I. Whoever you are, you’re not alone.
I have always had a natural curiosity for all things astrology based but dedicated myself last year to fully diving in and truly learning about it. I learned fairly quickly that astrology wasn’t as simple as knowing what your “sign” is and that it has been somewhat bastardized and regurgitated to the masses as simply a form of fancy and fuckery not to be taken so seriously. How wrong people are! According to the site Chaos Astrology:
|“Astrology is an activity based on the principle of Unus Mundus – the Universe as Unity. Everything – from atom to galaxy – is rooted in the same universal and all-pervasive reality. And this reality reveals itself in the purposeful, ordered and meaningful processes of nature, as well as in the deepest recesses of the human mind and spirit. ‘As above – so below’. Anything happening in one part of the system gets mirrored in a self-similar way everywhere else.”|
Diving further into my study, I realized that many of the metaphysical beliefs I adopted were reflected in the activity of astrology. For example, everything is energy. You, me, stars, thoughts, actions etc. Everything that exists is affected by and can influence the vibrations and energy signatures of the universe. I found this particularly true in having my birth chart done.
What is a birth chart? Simply put your birth chart shows the alignment and positions of planets and other celestial bodies at the moment you arrived into this lifetime. It tells you all about the energetic influences at play, and what life lesson you can expect. Chaos Astrology goes on to further state:
“The Universe, being the accommodating creature that she is, will provide confirmation of almost any paradigm we adopt. Mental events (perception) and acts of free will carry with them pure information which is transmitted instantly throughout the material world. To this extent, we live in an observer-created reality. Something out there (the Great Organizing Dynamic, as some have called it) responds to what we believe about ourselves and our world. From this standpoint, you are a channel, a vehicle, an agency, an instrument, a representative. And your birth chart may best be described as an output program – an indication of what should be flowing into manifestation through you. Although I might speak of ‘my’ horoscope, in a very practical sense, it does not belong to me – rather I belong to it. As do all the other entities, animate and inanimate, that came into being at about the same time and place. Cosmic Powers, if indeed there are such things, appear to use me and what I have to offer, and not the other way ’round.”
Sound crazy to you yet? I wouldn’t be surprised if it did. But just remember if everything is energy then it shouldn’t seem so far-fetched to believe that the planetary alignment and the energy of that alignment has a significant impact on who we are and what we become. I’ve come to learn that a birth chart lays bare for you how you are affected by the energy that assisted with you coming into being and also shows you the path of least resistance to daily living given those energetic influences. It is also important to note that the celestial configuration that took place at your time of birth is a powerful indicator of your motivations, drives, preferences, and psychological makeup, but it doesn’t seal your fate. It does however show the potential you were born with, but what you choose to do with that potential is up to you. For the sake of brevity and decreasing confusion, I will use parts of my own birth chart to break down some aspects of astrology.
Information in your birth chart all relates to certain parts of who you are. It is worth noting that our birth charts may contain many astrological signs and as such it is imperative to familiarize yourself with the characteristics of all 12 zodiac signs. People’s “sun/star sign” are what most folks are referring to when they ask “What’s your sign?” Your sun sign represents your ego, basic personality and conscious mind. Your sun sign is determined by where the sun was in the sky at the time of your birth in relation to the astrological constellations. My sun sign is Pisces. My birth chart, courtesy of Chaos Astrology states
|“Sun in Pisces
You are intuitive and at home with the mystical and the imaginative. There is a deep longing for the wonderful, the marvelous and the extraordinary. Pisces is able to carry dreams and ideals into reality, for it realises that the outer world is simply the external visible manifestation of our inner visions. You love activities that allow some imaginative scope; that let you work creatively with life’s intangibles. Pisces is very sensitive to outer stimuli, therefore seclusion and privacy are very important. These conditions create the quiet time necessary to allow your deep inner perceptions to be fathomed. Pisces energy runs deep and toward the mystical – whatever transcends the everyday world. This sign is understanding, patient and compassionate. Super-sensitive, it tends to absorb it’s surroundings like a sponge. The sign is very trusting, accepting and giving of itself for the sake of more important issues. It loves free-ranging, open-ended activities….You are an imaginative and serene individual. You need to express your fantasies and imagination, and may be a dreamer or be ungrounded.”
I found this to be very accurate and fitting and people close to me would definitely agree. I am indeed very imaginative and sensitive, however this area of my birth chart is just the tip of the iceberg. While the influence of our sun signs seem to rule supreme, it doesn’t end there.
In astrology the moon represents our unconscious, our instincts and habitual reactions and because of this is the most predictable part of us. At the time of my birth, the moon was in the constellation of Capricorn, hence my moon sign is Capricorn. My birth chart states:
“Moon in Capricorn
Yours is the most practical of environments. You can manipulate every idea or situation and put it to good use toward your own advancement. Emotions are seldom a priority to the extent that you may even appear emotionally cold. You are sophisticated and, for the most part, unmoved by tears and sentiments, preferring to pour your emotional time and energy into realising your future plans and ambitions. You shine in situations which require detachment and cool assessment or where others are in emotional turmoil…
You feel secure when life is structured, or you are working hard. You may be emotionally distant or cold. Your mother’s love may be limited in some way. Your mother may have been strict or cold.”
Despite my Piscean tendency of being very emotional, I always found it easy to bury my emotions when appropriate. Finding my moon in the sign of Capricorn was not surprising at all to me as I have been told more than once that I can be very emotionally cold. I also have always excelled in Customer Service situations where people were emotionally charged and yet I could always remain cool, calm and collected.
Rising/ Ascendant Sign
In your birth chart the Rising Sign or Ascendant partly defines the first impression we make on others; the “mask” we wear that others see. This sign is determined by the part of the zodiac that was rising on the Eastern Horizon, based on where we were born, at the time of our births. Our Rising Signs are also the signs in our “First House” however that is a lesson for another day. My Rising Sign or Ascendant is Libra. My birth chart says:
“Libra on the 1st House Cusp
Libra energy is always responsive and conciliating, assuming the appropriate reaction or delicately-weighted strategic response to any question or statement. What is sometimes seen as two-faced is only Libra’s facility at responding to each in kind, giving both sides equal consideration. This is certainly the social sign, par excellence. Impersonal and impartial, this sign doles out only what is demanded – nothing overdone, but nothing neglected…
Your approach to life is fair and balanced taking into consideration the thoughts and feelings of others. Harmony is important to you. You need to be assertive and make decisions.”
In reading about the zodiac sign Libra, represented by a scale, I noticed Libra energy is very much about balance. My entire life I have noticed a running theme of wanting things to be “fair” and I have the uncanny ability to see all sides to a story. Libra energy feels very fitting in this area of my chart. I am often seen especially in work situations as the “fair one”.
In passing many people may have heard the phrase “Mercury In Retrograde” and if you are anything like I was prior to studying astrology you had no idea wtf this meant. For more info about that, click here. Mercury is the planet that rules communication and day-to-day expression. Mercury represents words, thoughts and connections and our style of communication. In my birth chart my Mercury is in my sun/star sign, Pisces. It states:
“Mercury in Pisces
You are an intuitive rather than a rational thinker. Psychology, mysticism and religion are your natural interests. You also love poetry and music, tending to feel or sense with your mind the truth of a given situation. You are very sympathetic and have naturally compassionate understanding of people…
You are highly intuitive with a good imagination. You have the ability to tune into other people’s thoughts. You may have difficulty distinguishing reality from fantasy. You may experience periods where you seem to disappear into a dream world before being jolted back to reality.”
I was not surprised to find out that I communicate like a Pisces. I am also an empath (which I will muse about in a future post) and my intuition is crazily accurate. I rely on how I feel about things to figure things out and easily relate to others and how they feel when I communicate with them. This was eerily fitting to me.
In astrology the planet Venus rules love, money, pleasure, our sentiments, desires and sense of enjoyment. Venus’ position in our birth chart tells us how we obtain pleasure and deal with relationships of the heart. In my birth chart, my Venus is in the zodiac sign of Taurus. It says:
“Venus in Taurus
You love to touch and can easily get in touch with those around you, especially in close relationships. You love food, luxuries and all the creature comforts. Money and what it buys are not only very important, but come easily for you. You are a gentle lover and like a good home life. Very loyal, loving and down-to-earth, you enjoy ‘gift-giving’ in all forms…
For you romance and reliability go hand in hand. You approach relationships slowly and steadily, looking for someone who will prove solid and secure. You enjoy sensuality, and are reliable with finances.”
The sign of Taurus is known for its stubbornness and persistence and I must say when it comes to matters of the heart and pleasurable experiences I am both. I am also loyal to a fault and enjoy giving. As it seems, my birth chart is most certainly on point.
Mars was the god of war and as such the planet Mars rules our animal instincts for aggression, anger, survival and physical sexual desire. Mars is raw energy and instinctual. Mars is how we fight. My Mars is in Virgo and my birth chart says:
“Mars in Virgo
You have an innate urge to save, salvage and conserve, and take the initiative when it comes to looking after the details of a project. You always want to help and to be of service – to have your talents fully utilised. You hate waste and are very thorough and precise. For the most part, you are understanding and accepting, but this can sometimes be perceived by others as criticism. You are a careful technician, good at finding practical solutions to problems…
You will pursue your personal desires in a practical and methodical manner. You may be critical if opposed.”
This area of my chart was especially fitting. I abhor waste, enjoy being of service and helping people, am a self-starter when it comes to work, and can be hyper critical when it comes to arguments or opposition. In fact, one of my infamous traits in the midst of argument or debate is my biting ability to use my opponents own words and actions against them in a very critical and sharp way.
The planet Mars in my birth chart is in my opposite sign, Virgo. On an astrological wheel our opposite sign is that which is directly opposite our sun sign on the wheel. In a lot of cases we are drawn to our opposite sign as they present the energy necessary for us to feel a sense of balance or completion.
Pisces are emotional whereas Virgos are logical. Energy in my opposite sign gives me the extra oomph I sometimes need to get my head out of the clouds and back down to earth. My birth chart has several areas in my opposite sign and if you want to view the entire report, click here.
In passing, I know some folk have found my study of astrology to be a bit mad however, if you are curious and want to learn more I encourage you to do so. I have broadened my study of astrology and gained access to some very helpful software that assists me in doing birth charts. If you would like one please provide me with your Date of Birth, Time of Birth (in 12 hour format) and Location of Birth (including City, State/Province and Country) in an email to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I will continue to post “Mad Musings” from time to time including more that are astrology based and look forward to sharing my “madness” again with you. Until then, I wish you a peaceful, positive, productive day!